INDIANAPOLIS, IN

A coltish young beauty named Cindy

Has a record to rival the Indy

Riding best on her back

As you circle her track

Though the last lap can get rather windy

BOSTON, MA

Boston, home of the world famous Red Sox

And a woman about whom the town talks

She’s a sight to be seen

Proudly flicking her ‘bean’

At a rate that historically does shock

SALT LAKE CITY, UT

A pious young man out in Utah

Met a woman who had a sweet Hoo-Hah

A big lick he did take

From her great salty lake

T’was so dry it made his poor tongue raw

HOUSTON, TX

“Houston we have a problem,” he said

“I can’t find any girl who’ll give head

What good is this rocket

Grounded here in my pocket

When they’d rather eat spare ribs instead”

PORTLAND, OR

She was drawn to a Portland Trail Blazer

Who to great heights set out for to raise her

Just as soon as he could

He pulled back his Mount Hood

But the length of the climb never fazed her

MELBOURNE, FL

A retired old hooker in Melbourne

Had a coastline that really was well-worn

A bed crusty with raunch

She was not a great launch

And the scales of her fish were a bit torn

OTTAWA, ON

He looked for some lovin’ in Ottawa

And approached every pretty girl that he saw

But for one finely built gal

With a longish canal

Was a capital workout upon his jaw

RALEIGH, NC

There once was a man down in Raleigh

Who always appeared to be jolly

Like a puck-chasin’ Hurricane

He kept his penis quite insane

Til’ he broke his inflatable dolly

SAN FRANCISCO, CA

Her San Fran football player could punt

But for tackling was a bit of a runt

She begged her 49er

To sweetly 69 her

Or to land a field goal in her c**t

EDMONTON, AB

A woman was Alberta bound

He said, “I’ll drive you, how does that sound?”

He knew he would spoil her

With his Edmonton ‘Oiler’

But he still drilled her into the ground

WINNIPEG, MB

There once was a woman from Winnipeg

Who had quite a splendid shape to the leg

Like a slurpee half-melted

She would ooze and men felt it

But the weight in her silo would make her sag

SASKATOON, SK

A big boned gal from Saskatoon

Had them square dancing on her by noon

Like a dog of the prairie

But a little more hairy

Quite sweet berries, but over too soon

CALGARY, AB

Calgary, home of the Flames

Is teeming with mountains of dames

Like a bronco gone loony

They cost only a toonie

And they’ll ride your horse till it goes lame

MINNEAPOLIS, MN

A man living in Minneapolis

Swore he’d gone through life not having had

a puss

But if a hot chick would say

“Explore my Milky Way”

Well he had to admit he was a wuss

MADISON, WI

A young lover whose aim was to please

Grew a grand maple down to his knees

Proudly hailing from Madison

With him you always had some fun

Once you got finished skimming the cheese

CINCINNATI, OH

Cincinnati’s home to a fine filly

Whose love for him made her quite silly

Slowly took off her clothes

Shimmied till his ‘Pete’ rose

Then she covered his bat with her chili

JACKSONVILLE, FL

She met a smooth talker in Jacksonville

She should have said no but she lacked the will

Like a sleek Jaguar speeding

His stick shift left her pleading

Then he parked in the rear where he whacked her grille

NASHVILLE, TN

He went Goo Goo for Lurlene from Nashville

For her he could produce quite a glassful

He would 2 step and swirl

Round her sweet ‘Minnie Pearl’

“Does it bite?”, he asked, “No, but my gash will.”

TULSA, OK

She hit Tulsa just like a twister

Leaving broken hearts and the odd blister

Worth her weight in rich crude

Loved it when you were rude

Loved it even more when you would fist her

AUSTIN, TX

A blow up doll purchased in Austin

Had a sparkle the buyer got lost in

But with the lining all torn

By his Texas longhorn

It wasn’t quite worth what it cost him

DES MOINES, IA

A corn-fed young miss in Des Moines

Had a chronic twitch deep in her groin

With a mind blowing woosh

She’d stuff her burning bush

With anything she could purloin

BIRMINGHAM, AL

If you happen to travel to Birmingham

There are plenty of women that you can slam

And if your body is looking

For some good southern cooking

You might want to try Mabel’s steaming clam

SARASOTA, FL

Sarasota, where the circus would winter

Is home to an agile young sprinter

She holds tight with her knees

To your flying trapeze

While under your Big Top you pin her

CLEARWATER, FL

A photography prof from Clearwater

Had a student he loved like a daughter

On the beach he would shoot her

While she modeled her cooter

And displayed the techniques he had taught her

GAINESVILLE, FL

In Gainesville, the home of the Gator

Lives a wild wench who’s got quite the crater

You’ll get lost in that swamp

If you hazard a romp

While the cops seek the last guy that ate her